If someone would have told me that I one day would be in this situation I would have never believed it. Who knew I would fall in love with someone living in another country. It’s not something I would have wanted to do, because it’s really hard. Not being able to hold them or kiss them good morning or good night. Or just too kiss hem just to kiss them.

Now I’ve been in this relationship for about 2 years and even though there have been some rocky fighting and mountains we had to go over I wouldn’t change anything. I think it’s made us stronger, but even as strong as it has made me I feel at points useless, hopeless and lonely.

No one ever said that long distance relationships are easy or would I recommend them, as hypocritical as that sounds I can say that I don’t think LTR are for everyone. I think to a certain point I don’t think they are for me either, even though I am in one. I have never thought of myself as a needy person, needing that person being around me all the time. It my past relationship I would tell my ex that he was suffocating me, I couldn’t be in e same apartment with out him being in the same room. If I went to the bedroom he would follow me. I need space, I need time to unwind, or just time for myself.

I dated someone who I was crazy over, he could do no wrong. We dated for 2 and a half years but it ended because of the distance. We lived together for the first 2 years, it was the 6 months apart that I couldn’t stand. I tried to make things work, but guess it wasn’t meant to be. I called with no answer, I saw him once every three months if that. And it’s not like we lived that far, it was about an hour diving distance. But I need more then that, I need and want more.

Now that I am in a LTR again, sometimes I start to have this feelings of despair, loneliness, frustration and sadness. As much as miss him at times I feel like it’s getting to be the norm. What does that say about me? Do I just get accustom to the situation and take it for it is or is it that I’m just getting used to it. Either way I do miss him and love him and can’t wait to be together, but with all the hurtles we have to jump through it seems that it’s getting harder and harder.

The funny thing is when ever I hear a song that reminds me of him it makes me forget all my worries and thoughts, but it only lasts a few minutes.